Kids and divorces don't mix
by irishfanficgal
Summary: Ally Moon lives with her five kids and her best friend Penny Hofstader. The thing that's different with their friendship and bond? They're both divorcing their husbands, Austin and Leonard. The two men desperately work to get their wives back, but will they want them back? The big bang theory and Austin&Ally CROSSOVER -ISH! Crap at summaries, give it a try, it's different...
1. Chapter 1

**This is a crossover with Austin and Ally, and the Big Bang Theory. Completely original. Don't own any characters mentioned or any storylines apart from my original ones. Smut in later chapters. Shoutout to Ecuatoriana01 just for being awesome and putting up with my fangirl sessions, as well as joining in!**

**Chapter one- Supermen and supermarkets.**

**Ally's POV**

I unbuckle my youngest daughter Amelia's car seat. My best friend Penny Hofstader stands beside the car, bouncing her little girl Lisa on her hips. Let me just explain our current predicament. It's slightly confusing so buckle up folks, it's going to be one hell of a bumpy ride.

It all started when my husband, Austin Moon cheated on me with my best friend Kira Starr. I and my five kids left our house that day and moved into an apartment with Penny, who had recently split from her husband Leonard. Now onto my kids. The oldest is Ruby, she's thirteen and my little mini-me, Emma she's eleven and she has blond hair but my height and a whole lot of fierceness, then Kayla she's nine and she looks like Austin but she has my personality, Tanya three and exactly like Austin, in every way and my little Amelia who is three months old and a mix of both of her parents. Penny has four. Holly who's thirteen and is exactly like her father, especially her interest in Science, Toby who's eight and a mix of Leonard and Penny, then came Sarah who's five and her mother to a tee and then Lisa who's four months old. Confused yet? Well done if you're able to keep up.

As we walk into the supermarket, Penny decides to drag her kids over to the fruit and vegetable section. "Whoever can find the most things on my list, wins" Penny shouts, walking off with Lisa gurgling happily in the baby seat attached to the trolley. I look at my kids and we all laugh fondly at Penny's eccentric-ness. Ruby has Amelia in her arms because she loves helping out with all the kids and she's really good with kids too and Emma is holding Tanya while I'm pushing the trolley. "Kayla you and Tanya are going to your dad's tomorrow night, do you want to get anything? Sweets, ice-cream, magazines or even a book or something?" I ask, and Kayla nods walking towards the magazine section. "I don't see why you refuse to go girls, it isn't fair to your father" I sigh, turning to look at Ruby and Emma look at me. "He cheated on you mom! Why would we go?" Ruby asks. I groan. "Yes but he cheated on _me. _He decided he didn't want _me_ anymore, not you guys" I say, looking at them. "Well I don't want to and Penny said I don't have to!" Ruby says back. I shake my head and walk on. Then I hear the one voice I didn't ever want to hear again. "Ally" Austin says.

I turn around to look at him and am surprised by the intensity of his gaze. "I saw you guys and decided to say hello and see the kids" he admitted and I sigh. "It's not your days with them" I tell him. "When is my day exactly? I never seem to get to see them ever since you moved out" he hissed. "Maybe if you had, like, kept it in your pants we would want to see you. But you didn't. It's not mom's fault we don't want to see you, lord knows she tries hard to convince us too, but we choose not too. Us, not her" Ruby hisses and Austin looks shocked. "Rubes I'm sorry I didn't know you felt like that" he says, shock clear in his voice. Kayla comes back and Tanya waddles after her. "Dada!" Tanya shrieks, running towards him on her chubby infant legs. He picks her up and holds her tight to him. "S'up dad" Kayla smiles, hugging him. Ruby glares at her and Emma walks away. "I'll wait outside" she calls over her shoulder. I exhale loudly and Austin looks at me pleadingly. "Alls, can we talk? Just the two of us?" he asks. "Why don't you go "talk" to Kira, you seemed quite good at it the last time" I snap. Tanya wriggles out of his arms. "Hug" she demands at Ruby, who handed the baby to me and picked her up. "Ally" his voice is pained. "Here" I say, as I gently hand Amelia to him. He takes her, his arms immediately cradling her tiny frame.

"Ally you know, it was a one time thing" he stutters. "Whatever you say" I sigh, not wanting to argue in the middle of the supermarket. Then the situation gets about a thousand times worse. "Ally" Mimi and Cassidy (Austin's mom and Austin's twin sister) call. I glare at Austin for a split second and he's trying not to laugh, I can just tell. "Ally dear, how's my favourite daughter-in-law?" Mimi asks, hugging me close. "Your about to be EX daughter-in-law is just peachy. The kids are here, all over the place. I'll bring them to see you soon?" I say. "You aren't ACTUALLY divorcing him are you dear?!" Mimi yells, causing a few heads to turn our direction. I look around helplessly and spot Penny with her kids and Ruby, Tanya and Kayla standing looking at me. I shake my head to signal they should not come over and they nod understanding the hidden meaning.

"Um I am actually continuing the divorce proceedings" I nod and Austin sucks in a breath. "But sweetie he's nothing without you! You can't do this he's an idiot who made a mistake but he's your idiot" Mimi asks, crying. "Mimi, he didn't make a mistake he cheated on me. He decided he didn't want me anymore and I'm respecting that" I sigh. "Ally don't say that" Austin gasps. Cassidy smiles at me reassuringly and I weakly smile back, but it drops as Austin catches my eye. "Oh is that the time?! I better go..." I rush out and gently grab Amelia off Austin. I push the trolley one handed over to Penny. "Not. One. Word" I warn. They snigger. I shake my head at Tanya and Sarah who giggle into their hands. "C'mon let's just go to WalMart" I say, walking over to the tills.

Later that night, I'm making Tanya, Sarah, Kayla and Toby get ready to go to their fathers' house. Austin moved into a new apartment with Leonard and this lovable weirdo Sheldon, who loved Tanya because she told him he was the "smartest man in the whole wide world" and he was "smarter than the TV or even the Internet!" I smile as Penny comes in, crying. "What's wrong?" I ask her. "I don't want the kids to go" she cries. "Me neither. Amelia is too small for me to be spending time away from her" I start to cry as well. "So is Lisa! She's so tiny and she's mine!" Penny wails, and I hug her. Ruby comes in. "You have to bring us to the douche's house" she spits and Emma and Holly walk in, not looking at all happy. "You're all going to go?!" I smile and Penny half-grins. "Yeah, for you. That and I can torture Sheldon with that "card trick" Uncle Howard taught me" Holly smiles and Penny starts chuckling. "C'mon" I smile.

We all pile into the mini-van I own and Penny starts badly singing some old song that was on the radio. I roll my eyes at her and she nudges me, to join in. I start belting it out at the top of my lungs. "Hey mom... We're here" Kayla butts in. "Ok baby. WAIT! Penny why don't we torture the exes a little. Kids here's the plan" I grin evilly as I start explaining it out. Penny gets an evil glint in her eyes. "Oh yeah" she whispers.

We all walk up the hall to the apartment. I knock on the door. "Hey guys. Wait you're all here! Thank god!" Austin says as Leonard came around the corner. "Hey kids!" he smiles, and his barrel towards him except Holly. Austin holds out his arms and Tanya and Kayla hug him, and I hand him Amelia. Emma, Ruby and Holly stand in the corner, tight-lipped. "No hugs for your old dad?" Austin asks Ruby and Emma. "Nope but I certainly have something else for you" Ruby says sweetly, sticking up her middle finger. "Ah fuck! I forget the babies' blankies! Oh well we can drop them over on the way out tonight" Penny interjects. "Oh you're going out? Anyone special?" Leonard asks, jealousy obviously detected in his tone. "I don't know, might hook up with a few guys" I smile and with a wink, walk over to the kids. "Have fun babies! Now if you want to come home call us and we'll be here as soon as we can!" me and penny say as all the kids race at us.

"Now, Lisa isn't able to sleep without the blanket I'm bringing over on the way out tonight. Holly hates you and Austin so she'll just hang out with Ruby and Emma or Sheldon. Toby has some essays to do for English and he has an acceptance speech to write so don't annoy him and Sarah will want to have a tea party. If you're getting her that bubble tea stuff, she loves the melon one with MANGO balls, not anything else. Got it?" Penny informs Leonard who nods curtly. Then I turn to Austin. "Tanya wants a tea party with Sarah, if Amelia wakes up DO NOT, under any circumstances, take snuggles the bunny off her, she'll never sleep after that and Kayla has magazines and will probably hang out with Toby, they're attached at the hips. Emma and Ruby didn't want to come, but came because they missed you" I lie and Emma butts in. "NO! We came because mom begged us to, because "you love us". If you loved us so fucking much, you wouldn't have shoved your STD-riddled dick into that slut's vagina now would you" Emma spits.

I stare at her, shocked at the language. "Emma, apologize" I warn her and she sighs. "Sorry guys for scaring you" she says to the kids "Sorry Penny for using such horrible language. Sorry mom for having to say you married a douche that cheats on you. Sorry Leonard and Sheldon for having to live with him. And "dad" sorry you're such a selfish manwhore" she says sweetly and I sigh. "Close enough" I shake my head and Penny giggles. "I am not a manwhore! I am a man, who made a mistake and hurt people with said mistake. But I love my wife, and I will not sign those papers to end a happy marriage!" Austin growls and mine and Penny's eyes narrow. "If it was such a happy marriage, you wouldn't have slept with her. So shut up and deal with the choices you made" I hiss, and then turn to the kids. "I'm going to go now, ok? Now don't torture Uncle Sheldon too much, if Amy, Dez, Howard or Raj come over don't ask them to "save you" like last time" I warn, looking at Holly, Ruby and Emma "But try to have fun and behave for your dads ok? I love you all" I smile and Penny nods in agreement.

"Before you go mom, I'd like to add, me, Holly and Emma are only here because you two pushed us out your vaginas and we respect that. We hold no respect for the sperm donor" Ruby calls out. "I give up!" I callback and the three sulky girls burst into fits of giggles. "How do you do that?" Austin asks. "Do what?" I say confused. "You can always make them smile. Like I used to be able to do to you" he sighs. I open my mouth to answer but Emma cuts in. "We actually like mom, so therefore we smile for her. We have no obligation towards you, at all. We're here for the simple reason, we want mom to get laid tonight" Emma snaps and I shake my head. "Language" I scold. She shrugs. "All right I'm leaving" me and Penny sigh. We open the door and walk out. "Time to get ready" I smirk to already smiling Penny.

***END CHAPTER ONE* **

**New story! You likey? Or you hatey? ... Tell me in Reviews! I hope you guys are enjoying it so far! Bye!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Two chapters, two days?! I know, don't worship me, I'm just that nice! I like all the stories I'm currently working on, but in some my ideas are drying up so I'm doing everything I can to get those creative juices flowing again! If you have a way to get inspiration, tell me in reviews! I'd love to see everyone's different ways and they help me as well! Read on!**

Chapter 2- The Irish are wise.

As me and Penny pull into our driveway we quickly hurry into the house. I pull out all the dresses and clothes I own and fling them onto the bed in the spare room. Penny comes through the door with her arms full of her own clothes. She unloads them onto the bed. We start sorting through them and pulling out various things and holding them up to our bodies. "No" "No" "Not a chance" was being repeated until. "I found it!" Penny said, yanking out a pink dress. It was to her knees, and strapless. "Nice. I found it too!" I squeal, showing her my dress. It was black and slinky, squeezing my chest to it's full potential, the tightness displaying all my movements. It was the perfect mix of classy and slutty.

"Oh yes. Momma like" I smile. As we start on our hair,both decided we wanted it straight, we start talking. "I never did understand why you and Leonard divorced" I admit, causing her head to jerk up. "He loved me. He really loved me. But, everyone thought I wasn't good or smart enough for him. He swore it didn't bother him, that he loved me because of our differences but I did something stupid. I told him I wanted to split. And the rest you know. How about you and Austin? Before the cheating, how was it?" she asks, unshed tears making her eyes shine.

"I loved him, and I really thought he loved me. I got pregnant with Ruby at fifteen, which many people turned on me for, but Austin's eyes lit up when I told him. He told me that I wasn't his princess anymore, the baby was but I would always be his queen. When Ruby was born, we may not have had the ideal situation but I was happy. He proposed and I agreed. Then Emma was born, and then Kayla. When I pregnant with Tanya, he said he wanted another girl. Amelia came along and then he just changed. He became distant and really snappy. Then the day happened" I shudder and Penny looks up. "What exactly happened on that day?" she asks and I take a deep breath.

**Flashback**

I came home with Ruby and Emma. Kayla was at soccer practice, Tanya was at her grandmother's and Amelia was in her cot, Austin was meant to be watching her. I walk up to the bedroom with the girls and we hear the moans. I try to tell them to go, but Ruby storms in, I could tell she wanted to be wrong. She wasn't. He was in between her legs, eating her out. His face just fell, and I walked out, Emma and Ruby following. He pulled a shirt on and followed me, telling me it was a mistake it meant nothing to him. I picked up Amelia and turned to him. "I'll be back later for mine and the girl's clothes. I'll call the lawyer in the morning to start divorce proceedings" I whisper, focusing my attention on Amelia's little snores. "DIVORCE?!" Austin shouts, and I wince. Kira walks out, looks at me apologetically and turns to walk out. I hold Ruby back from lunging at her, she starts hugging the crying Emma and I turn to Ruby and Emma. "Take Amelia to the car and don't come back in. I'll be a moment, I just have to get the lawyer's number it's in our.. your father's room" I smile at them and Ruby nods. "He is not my father, he's NOTHING" Emma spits out venomously before storming away. Ruby shoots a hate-filled glare at Austin, before walking away cooing at the baby.

"They hate me" he whispers. "No, they hate the fact you hurt me" I whisper back. "I didn't mean to hurt you. She was there and missed you" he defends. "I was gone like two hours!" I yell, getting angry. "Forget it, I'm going. You should expect to receive the papers in a few weeks, Dez'll probably give them to you, because I don't want to see you" I sigh and turn to walk down the stairs. "Ally shouldn't we talk about this?" he asks, as I walk into the room I had up until two minutes ago, considered mine and my husband's. "Fine, I'll talk. Where's that card Vic Doherty gave us? He should be able to do this quickly so you can continue your relationship exclusively" I sigh. "There is no relationship" he protests. "Sorry, so you can keep fucking each other then" I hiss in frustration. "I'm sorry. I know it doesn't help, but I'm sorry. I'm sorry for hurting you, I'm sorry for Kira. But I'm sorry because I'm not letting you go without a fight" he warns. I look at him for a moment then I find the card under the bed. I stand up. "Even if you win the fight, I'll enjoy winning the war" I say. "Why can't we pretend it never happened?" he asks me. "Because it did and I don't want to live in a fantasy" I snap. "But just let me explain" he begs. I shake my head and walk out, only letting the tears fall after the door closes after me.

**End flashback.**

"Oh god, that must've sucked" Penny gasps. "Meh" I sigh. "But you never talked to him about it?" she asks, raising her eyebrows. "Nothing to talk about. He fucked her, made his bed, I'm just hoping it has noo STD's" I sigh. "We're going to that Irish bar, "Paddy's lucky charm". The guys there have cute accents" she giggles and I join her, though both of us know there's only one voice each of us want, and that's the ones of our husbands.

About an hour later, we were done. Penny went for blue eye-shadow, hint of black eye-liner and this pink lipgloss that I love. I however, went for smoky eye-shadow, thick eye-liner and dark red lipstick. "Ooh girl! Strut your stuff!" Penny wolf-whistles and I roll my eyes. "Let's bring that baby blanket and partay!" I shriek.

Penny walks ahead and bangs on the door. "Open up!" she yells. Dez opens the door, and smiles as he looks us up and down. "Austin's going to die and Leonard's going to be needing his inhaler" he says and walks away. Austin and Leonard are on the couch holding the babies, while having a tea party with Sarah, Tanya and a sulky-looking Toby and Kayla. The princess tiaras the grown men were wearing it was hilarious to say the least. The kids look up and shriek. "Mommy looks like a princess!" Tanya yells and the others nod in agreement. Austin and Leonard look up and their faces went comically shocked.

They openly checked us out and (just to be the world's biggest bitch), I reached down to hug Kayla from behind, my breasts being pressed together even more and his view got clearer. He was staring at me, and for some odd reason, it excited me. "Austin" I call, waving a hand in front of his face. "Boobs- I mean, where are you going tonight, looking your breast, best" he stutters out and Penny stifles a giggle. "Um that really isn't your concern now is it? It has nothing to do with you if I screw a guy tonight right?" I ask innocently. "Where. Are. You. Going" he growls. "That new Irish bar, Paddy's lucky charms. The guys there have the sexiest accents ever, and they just, ugh, have that Irish charm" I wink suggestively.

Austin's face turns stony. "You can't screw a random guy! You're a mother!" he protests. I raise an eyebrow and put a hand on my hip."You're a father and that didn't stop you with Kira. How is she by the way?" I ask and Penny "Oooh"'s in the background. "I haven't seen her since.." he trails off. "Since I walked in on you eating her P-U-S-S_Y" I spell out. "You know that was a one time thing and I think she's a W_H_O-R-E" he spells, and I chuckle a little. "Whatever helps you sleep at night, or you know, whoever" I smile, and Penny takes two deep breaths to stop her laughing. "Ok we better be going, Liz from work said that a bartender called John is single, hotter than hell and he loves S-E-X-Y brunettes and there's one called Frankie who loves blondes" Penny giggles suggestively and the two men tense up. "WAIT MOMMY YOU HAVE TO HAVE TEA!" Sarach and Tanya screech. I sit down next to Austin. "No, in my book the queen sits on the king's lap" Sarah demands and I roll my eyes as me and Penny plonk down on their laps. "Whoever got you that book, remind me to punch them in the face" I sigh. Then I feel Austin's breathing quicken and then I feel why.

He has a hard-on. I try to keep a straight face, and wriggle about, acting as though I wanted to get comfortable. He moaned and whimpered, and his hips bucked up. I start to rub it, palming him through his sweats. He bites his lips to stop the sounds that were threatening to spill out and then I take my hand away. He looks up and I blink innocently, daring him to say something. He leans forward, under the pretense of taking a biscuit but he whispers into my ear. "That was funny, but I'm making you a promise. I'll get you back and you most definitely will pay me back" he promises. I look at him, take a nibble off the corner off his biscuit (**A/N Heehee that sounded dirty). ** and then leaned forward for a napkin. "I look forward to it" I smirk and then stand up, wiping down the front of my dress.

**Third Person.**

As the two women walk out, Austin turns to Leonard. "We are going to that bar tonight right?" he asks. "Duh" Leonard groans. "SHELDON! STOP TRYING TO TEACH DEZ PHYSICS AND GET IN HERE RIGHT NOW! GIRLS I'M TALKING TO YOU TOO!" Austin hollers. The group comes all at once, grumbling. "Sheldon, Dez, You two are babysitting tonight. We are going to make sure that our wives stay in love with us, not some over-grown leprechaun" Leonard says already rushing into the room. Austin rushes into his own and re-emerges a few minutes later, in a jeans and a white t-shirt with a black leather jacket and Leonard comes out in his usual cargo pant, marvel shirt and hoodie.

The two men say goodbye to their kids and warning Dez and Sheldon to not let them stay up all night, they leave.

**Back to Ally.**

I'm sitting at the bar while Penny's peeing. A girl, no more than fifteen, is serving. "Excuse me, ma'am you look sad? People in me da's pub don't be sad, they be having the craic" the teenager smiles and I smile back at her. "What age are you?" I ask. "I'm thirteen but my parents needed staff and well, I needed something to do. Now tell Hannah all about it" the black haired teen commands. I find myself telling her everything. At the end she's silent for a minute before. "Joe, get me two pints of anything over here!" she yells to a slightly older guy. "Ah fine, but don't tell bossman me lanna**( A'N I'm Irish and I actually speak like this, Me lanna is just a pet name basically)**" he sighs and she looks at him as if he's mental. "I will in me arse tell him" she yells. "Now before I guru your life back together, watch this" she giggles and I comply happily. She stands on the bar top and yells at the top of her lungs. "HOW ABOUT THAT ALL IRELAND THIS YEAR?!" she yells and the reaction is immediate. She laughs as some old man picks her up and drunkly spins her around. "He's me gran uncle Shane. He's auld as fuck but we love him anyways. Now personally you want me advice?" she asks and I nod just as Penny returns.

"Talk to him. Yell at him, abuse the living daylights out of him. But divorce is a very difficult option, and doesn't seem to be the right one in this case. Maybe I'm wrong here, I could sound like an eejit, but he probably had a reason. Based on what you told me, I would say, my opinion, he got scared of the pressure of parenthood, saw how well you were handling it and soon he's climbing on top of another woman, instead of talking to you, like any straight male does. But I think, none of youse will ever be over each other and that will reflect on your futures. Choose well, and don't make a decision based on the hurt you're feeling now. The past is a beautiful past to wander in, but to live in it is like being trapped in hell. Please don't divorce him because of one mistake, I'm a thousand percent sure he's missing you right this second" she finishes and I open my mouth in shock. "Ah god, my mam's always saying I say too much and get too involved. I shouldn't have said anything I'm sorry. Fucky-fuck fuck, I'll just leave" she curses. "No! No, you're completely right, it's just you're so wise! It's like the fuck?" Penny says, partially in amazement. "She's right, you have a way with words. You'll have to meet my daughter Ruby" I beam. She blushes, takes a final gulp of her beer and then takes out a bottle of tequilla and pours out two shots. "On the house. I'd better be seeing you two again!" she warns jokingly the disappears to the other side of the bar.

"Damn, she's wise" I mutter. "Word!" Penny agrees, taking a gulp. Then the door opens and Leonard and Austin walk in, looking determined. Dear god, what the fuck are you doing right now?! "Penny!" Leonard yells, dragging her off someplace. Austin takes a seat next to me. "S'up" he nods and I roll my eyes, and look down to his region. " You apparently" I smirk. "Could you blame me?! Look at you tonight! And to know I'm the one that's literally going to rip off that dress, well I don't know if I can handle that" he whispers. "Who said anything about me letting you do that to me" I grit my teeth. I see Hannah walk towards us. "Hannah! This is Austin" I point and she nods. "Ah your the one I've been hearing about. Ally told me all about you I'm afraid to tell ya" she winks and I giggle. "Ally want anything? Or how about you, I make some amazing cocktails, two and you'll be crawling home" she giggles. I order a martini and he orders a beer, and he pays for both. "Be talking to you" she calls as she walks away. "So you talk about me?" he asks, smirk in place. "Yup. She said I shouldn't divorce you, I should talk to you, yell at you and then abuse the living daylights outta ya" I tell him. "See?! I like her, she's smart" he whispers, his face advancing towards mine slowly. I stand still, until his meet mine. I pull away after a few minutes of kissing, which was getting pretty heated and whisper. "See you tomorrow" and kiss his cheek. I find Penny, crying, and then we go home to have a long talk.

**END CHAPTER 2.**

**You like it?! Review if you do, please. Now the people who follow my stories religously, not only do you guys ROCK, you always have, wait for it, THE LEPRECHAUN'S LUCK. I am Irish, therefore I was blessed by leprechauns as a baby when I was asleep, and I now have the power to bestow the leprechaun-ness upon anyone and I choose you people! Peace out! xxx**


	3. Chapter 3

And** now for that moment you've all been waiting for... IT'S AUSTIN'S POV! Aww yeah my loyal reader's it's time ^_^**

**Chapter 3.**

**Austin's POV**

I groan as Ally walks away, hips swaying seductively in that goddamn dress. I shake my head to rid myself of the thoughts of screwing her brains out as I walk towards Leonard. He is at the bar, gulping down a dark beer. "What's that?" I ask him and he shrugs. That teenager that Ally was talking to comes over. "Ah that's Guinness. Imported straight from Ireland so it isn't watered down like all the other bars be doing" she shudders and I smile. "What age are you?" I ask curiously. "Well I'm thirteen but if the cops come in I'm sixteen. Not that any ask, they like the place too much" she winks. "Well what were you and Ally talking about?" I beg her. She looks at me, pulling a pint as she considers. She plonks down a pint of Budweiser. "You really want to know? Because fair warning, I don't soften my words at all" she warns me and I nod.

"She told me everything. How she thought you were happy and stuff, and then what you did. I gave her my advice, which she told you about. Just because I don't think she should divorce ya, don't mean I think you're right. At all" she sighs. "Ok. Can you give me any sort of advice to get her back?" I plead. She sighs and looks at me, staring me in the eye. "Fight for her. So far, you've sat around on yer arse and just did nothing but ask her and complain, am I right?" she asks and I nod. "Well then the answer is simple. Get off your arse. Now you go to her house, you knock o the door and if there's no answer, throw stones at her window and serenade her. Do something, so ridiculously cheesy and romantic, she wants to hit you but also wants to run to you and kiss you. It will place doubt in her mind. If you continue being nice to her, and DON'T PAY ATTENTION TO ANY OTHER WOMAN, then she'll start missing you" Hannah muses. "You're a genius" I gasp. "Ah, I've been told" she winks before walking away. "C'mon buddy I'm getting my wife back" I say to the swaying Leonard. He nods, too drunk to care. I help him stagger out and he lies down in the backseat and snores straight away. I drive to Ally's place and knock n the door. She opens the door and looks shocked to see me. "Are the kids ok" she asks, stepping out and closing the door behind her. "They're fine. It's you I want to talk to" I tell her and she sighs. "Not in the mood tonight Austin" she sighs, tugging on the end of her dress.

"Well I am" I stubbornly demand. "If I let you, we can't stay here" she sighs, moving towards the car. "Why?" I ask, following her. "Penny's passed out in her bed. Here bring Leonard he can crash on the couch" she sighs. She picks up one of his arms, and I pull the other around my shoulder. We drop him onto the couch and Ally tenderly puts a blanket over him, patting his head. She leaves out a glass of water and a few Aspirin. "He's going to be dying in the morning" she sympathetically sighs. I chuckle and shake my head as he swats his hands at Ally, murmuring drunken slurs. "Let's go. We can go to mine. The kids should be asleep and Dez and Sheldon should still be alive. Should" I mutter. "Fine but I'm not getting naked. I simply don't want to sleep in a house without two VERY drunk people, who may or may not end up screwing. Wait hold on a second. YOU LEFT THE KIDS, THE PEOPLE I HELD IN MY STOMACH FOR NINE FREAKING MONTHS, WITH DEZ AND SHELDON?!" she yells, as we reach the front door. "Yes" I wince and she slaps my arm. We get into the car and about halfway to the house she gasps. "TURN BACK!" she screams. "Why?!" I yell. "I don't have my body pillow to hug! I need it to sleep!" she whines and I roll my eyes. She had got that thing from Trish when she was pregnant with Tanya and I hated it because she'd cuddle with it rather than me. "You'll have me" I offer hopefully. "But the pillow doesn't cheat on me and it actually shuts up!" she growls and I chuckle. "I'll try my best" I inform her dryly. "Ugh fine but if you get a hard-on, I swear to god I am not sucking you off" she huffs and I actually burst out laughing at that.

We silently creep into the apartment. Sheldon and Amy are curled up in a tangle of limbs on the sofa. "He'll freak out in the morning" Ally giggles, her own drunkness beginning to catch up with her. "I want to check on my babies" she hiccups. "Are you sure it's the best idea?" I ask. "I made them didn't I?! And besides they like me more than you anyway" she giggles and I huff. "It's okay because I still like you best" she assures me as she stumbles towards the kids room. The kids had pulled all the materesses off their beds along with all the blankets, pillows and duvets and pushed them all together on the floor to make a super bed. Toby and Kayla are curled up together, a notebook open in between them. She smiles at the sight and I smile at her happiness, still amazed at her confession. Sarah and Tanya are squashed in between Holly, Ruby and Emma with a laptop with the Netflix option menu open. "Awww" Ally squeals and walks out. "Ally where are you going now?" I whisper. "To my baby" she whispers and kisses me. Her lips connect with mine and the sheer electric shocks I feel are enough to stun the strongest man. But I power through it, kissing back with a force I didn't realize I had anymore. She pulls away and nuzzles her head against my chest and we stand in silence for a moment, me leaning against the wall, her leaning against me.

Until she jumps away. "Amelia" she explains and walks towards my room where the baby's bassinet was placed. She smiled down at the angelic form of our sleeping daughter. I smile as I watch her eyes glaze over with amazement, the same as she had done with Ruby, Emma, Kayla and Tanya. "What?" I ask her concerned as I see tears forming in her eyes. "I can't believe we made her. She's so beautiful. I know Ruby came a little early but I wouldn't have changed anything in our life together. Except the divorce" she murmurs and my chest tightens, my heart rate speeding up. "Me too" I whisper hollowly. Amelia stirs in her sleep, the pink onzie she was wearing that said "ONE CUTE KID (a present from Penny) shifts slightly under the yellow blanket, but she doesn't wake up. I smile down at her. and Ally trips onto the bed, and starts giggling.

"What?" I ask her. "Nothing, it's just, knowing us, if we were still married, I'd probably be knocked up again by now" she giggles and I immediately frown. "We are still married" I point out. "Not in the sexual way" she disagrees. I huff in annoyance. "Well do you wanna?" I ask. "Do I want to what?" she looks pretty goddamn confused. "Still be married, even in the sexual way?" I continue, looking at her. Her eyes widen. "Pfft whaat no" she lies. "You sure there?" I smirk. "Absolutely doodly!" she stutters. I smirk at her blatant nervousness. "Because I think you do" I whisper. "No I do not" she insists. I raise an eyebrow, advancing towards her slowly. She looks at me. "Tell the truth" I demand. "A little, maybe" she mutters. I smile in triumph. "But that doesn't mean it will happen" she continues with a wink. I groan as she lies back, her head gently resting on the pillow. "I'm tired and my pillow's not here" she announces. I hear the door of the kids room open and footsteps pattering down towards my room. Ruby bursts in. "Sperm-donor who I have the umisfortune of calling a father, could you and your latest slut keep it down!" she hisses and then looks at Ally and her eyes widen. Emma joins her at the door and a similar expression falls over her face.

"Mom! When I said I wanted you to get laid, I meant to a sexy Irish guy!" Emma complains. I frown as Ally drunkenly stumbles over to the girls. "Babies, I wasn't doing your dad. I was sleeping here because Aunt Penny and Uncle Leonard is drunk and passed out in my house. Ok, oh babies you're so beautiful" she sighs, tears glistening. Ruby shakes her head. "How drunk did you get her exactly?" she accuses and I frown deeper. "It was all her. I swear. And why would it be such a terrible thing if your mother wanted me back?" I ask and Emma steps up. "Because WE had to watch her crumble. WE had to stand by while she pretended to be fine when really she was a wreck. WE pretended to not hear her crying at night. WE almost lost our mother. She almost turned into a shell of herself. Because of you. Therefore, we really don't care for you" Emma informs me. "I wasn't a wreck!" Ally protests. "Mom, I love you and all, but you were an emotional ball of sadness. Now shh" Emma tells her. Ally sighs.

"So because I made a mistake, you disown me?!" I ask. "No, because you CHOSE to do what you did, we disown you" Ruby nods. I sigh, running a hand through my hair. "So there's not a hope in hell of you forgiving me?" I ask pleadingly. The girls exchange a look. "IF, and only IF, mom decides she can't live without you knocking her up every few years, THEN we will ATTEMPT to forgive you. Then and only then" Emma decides and Ruby firmly nods her head in agreement. "So I have to get my wife back and along with that, I get my kids?" I ask confused. "Yup, basically" Ruby confirms. "Now we're going to bed, and if you can control yourself, which I know I difficult for you, just cuddle her, ok?" Ruby pleads before walking out. "Night" I call and receive the finger from Emma. I sigh in exasperation as I climb into the bed, Ally already snuggles up to me. I wrap my arms around her small frame, and she smiles in her sleep. Just as I fall asleep, Ally starts mumbling. She moans and I realize, with a smirk she was having a kinky dream. Then I frown, Who the hell was she dreaming about. "Oh, Oh, right there, Oh_ Austin_" she sighs and the beam creeps onto my face. IT'S ABOUT ME! Aw yeah! I decide to have little fun. I lean over to wake her up by kissing all along her neck. She slowly wakes up, at first she looks startled but then moans, as I nibble a certain part of her neck. "What are you doing?" she asks. "Making your dream come true" I wink and her eyes widen. I take a deep breath and go in for the kill. I press my mouth to hers. Her mouth opens in shock and I slide my tongue in. She starts responding and after about ten minutes, when the need for oxygen becomes overwhelming, I pull away. She then...

**CLIFFHANGER! I apologize, It was way too tempting! I'm sorry, BUT no Ally has NOT forgiven him, yet... or at all?! Muah haha only I know. SMUT in next chapter. Warning if you guys don't like it. Sorry it's not my best but I tried! Brownie points?!**

**Ruby- Suure...**

**Me- I'll make you live with your father *Shocked silence***

**Me- Thank you. Anyway as I was saying, I love feedback! Of any kind! Love you guys who are reading this and enjoying it!**


	4. Chapter 4

**SMUTTY NESS IN THIS CHAPTER! And Yes, I realize I left you on a cliffhanger..**

**Austin- Yeah no kidding.**

**Me- I will hurt you. I will shave your head.**

**Susan( one of my consiences)- Hannah, anger! **

**Me- FUCK YOU SUSAN YOU'RE NOT MY MOM. ... Review? Please?**

**Auslly slightly in this chapter, BUT HE IS NOT FORGIVEN!**

**Chapter 4**

Austin's POV

Then she stood up. She goes to walk away, but I pull her back down into the bed and re-attach my lips to hers. She moans and then pushes me away. "No, you want a cheap screw, get Kira. I'll sleep in the kids room" she hisses at me, and my fists clench. "I don't want Kira, I want you. I need you" I growl. "Oh shut up" she sighs. I grab her and pull her towards me. Our lips meet in a frenzied kiss that radiated pure lust. My eyes close as I deepen the kiss, biting her bottom lip. Her mouth falls open and I take the opportunity to slide my tongue into her mouth, tasting and exploring. She falls back on the bed and I rip off my shirt, her dress soon following. I yank off my pants and she quickly slides off her black lacy panties. She palms my hard on, causing a loud moan to fall out of my mouth, I go between her legs, as she positions herself. Her legs bend up, ankles resting on my shoulders. I thrust into her and she moans. "Faster" she yelps. I willingly comply and thrust faster until I feel her release. Her moans are enough to cause me to cum. We lay panting and I pull out of her. She turns onto her side, away from me, and I pull her in so I can cuddle her. She stiffens for a moment and then just relaxes and in no time, I hear her feathery light snores.

When I wake up the next morning, the light streams in from a small gap in the curtains. I look at Ally, who's still passed out. I smile and watch her as she sleeps. A small piece of her hair has fallen in front of her face, and any time she breathed out, it would go up, then back down. The same pattern, over and over. Yet, because it was Ally, it was fascinating. Hell she made just standing in a corner in silence exciting. After about five minutes of watching her, she starts to show signs of waking up. Her eyelids flutter open, and she yawns as she sits up, stretching out her arms. She looks over at me, sleepily and then looks away, then looks back her eyes wide. "What the fuck did you do last night?!" she whisper-yells. "Nothing you didn't want honey. Calm down" I tell her, slightly hurt. "I will NOT calm down! We are divorced, meaning we don't fuck anymore!" she hisses. "We are not divorced, we are still married! So now I'm not allowed sleep with my wife?! How on earth is that fair?!" I ask her. "Dude, you wanted to sleep with me, you shouldn't have banged Kira now should you? And you're wrong, our marriage ended the moment I walked in on you" she spits and I shake my head. "That's not true. You love me! You have to! Our marriage will never be over!" I yell, horrified. "Oh, so I have to stay at home, playing the loving wife, while you bang one of my best friend?! I mean who's next? Penny?!" she asks. "No! Ally I want you back, I realize I made a mistake. Can't we try?" I beg. She shrugs. "I don't know" she mutters. I hear Tanya call out, "MOMMY! DADDY!" over and over again. "I've got her" Ally sighs, walking out the door.

I follow her, leaning on the door frame. Kayla's awake, so is Emma and Ruby. "So are you and dad back together?" Kayla asks hopefully. Ally visibly stiffens and she exchanges a glance with me. "Um no sweetie" Ally says softly, as she picks up Tanya. Kayla nods, tears visible in her eyes. "Sweetie don't cry" I tell her gently, causing her to start sobbing. "Why can't you just get back together?! I hate having to go to dad's then back to mom's! It sucks!" she sobs, and Toby hugs her comfortingly. "Honey, I never knew you felt like that" Ally gasps. "Well no offence, neither of you ever asked any of us about this stupid divorce thing!" she yells and walks to the kitchen. I stand shocked, and look at Ally. "She has a point" Emma points out. "So what, none of you guys want us to get divorced?!" Ally asks, and Emma, Ruby and Tanya shake their heads. "Daddy and Mommy live happily ever after" Tanya insists. I exchange a look with Ally, who looks like she's about to cry. "So wait a second. You've been telling me to not take him back, when all the time you wanted me to?" Ally asks Emma and Ruby. "We don't want you guys to get divorced, but he still has to pay" Ruby tells her. She nods, and Kayla walks back in, holding Amelia. Penny's kids leave the room, probably to wait for Leonard to come home.

**Ally's POV**

Ok, I screwed Austin last night, have just found out my kids are miserable about the divorce and knowing that I'm making them sad, I'm just confused. He can't love me can he? He can't, because if he did, he wouldn't have slept with her. I think, UGH! I hate the fact he can still get in my head and lodge himself there. Goddamn him! Him and that stupid blond hair, and those brown eyes that just, stare into your soul.. NO! Just because I had sex with him and had that dream, does NOT mean I have feelings for him. Oh but that dream. In a locker room, him in a football kit me as the cheerleader, oh. Um, I mean, no feelings here. Not an ounce. "So mom, the only question is, do you love dad?" Emma asks. "Girls, way more complicated than that. Of course I'll always love your father, but the fact of the matter is, he doesn't, um, see me like that any more. And that's why I'm filing the divorce, so he can be happy with, um, his choices" I say, as I pull Ruby and Emma into each one of my sides. "That's unfair. I've asked multiple times for forgiveness, so technically it's your choice to end the marriage! What else can I do?! Tell me right now, and I'll do it" Austin begs, Tanya climbing onto his shoulders. "Maybe, um I don't know, Don't cheat on her?" Ruby suggests and I look at her. "Weren't you just saying not to get divorced?" I ask. She nods. "Well it had to be said and nobody was exactly taking so I stepped up" she nods.

Austin looks at me and I look at him then to the kids, then back to him. "Darlings, you guys will always be the lights that bring me through life. And no matter who me or your dad are with, never forget that. The days I found out I was pregnant with all you they were the most amazing days of my life, second only to the day each of you came into this world and to my wedding day. So if we decide to go through with this divorce, or decide to try again, never for one second ever think we'll love you guys any less" I tell them, kissing Emma's forehead. Austin looks at me, seriously how is one person so goddamn attractive? "Kids I think me and you mom ought to go for a talk. Okay?" Austin suggests and I nod. "I think we're long overdue" I grimly admit. "I'll watch the kids" Ruby assures. "Thank you so much sweetie. Order a pizza here's fifty dollars. You're an angel, baby" I tell her honestly and Emma clears her throat loudly. "Hm hm" she coughs. "So are you Ems, all of you are" I laugh and Austin stands up. "Right, I know a place where we can have coffer" he tells me and I nod. "Let's go" I sigh. "Before you do, on all of our account, if you ending up screwing mom like a light bulb, wear a condom for once! I have done my fair share of babysitting and I don't want to be changing nappies until I have kids!" Ruby warns. I shake my head as Austin chuckles lightly. "Bye kids" we call as we walk out.

END CHAPTER

**So not my best huh? Sorry, but yesterday was my birthday! YAY! Haha ok tell me in reviews if you think AUSLLY should reunite or not?! Please *puppy dog eyes* For my birthday? Love you all xxx**

**Austin- Obviously we'll get back together.**

**Ally- Maybe,..**

**Austin- Locker room Ally... Locker room...**

**Ally *blushes* *I notice and walk over***

**Me- Mock her anymore and I promise she'll end up with someone else. Ten times as hot to. What's it going to be buddy? Ally feel free to mock him though. *Ally smiles***

**Austin- Why can she do it? And I'll shut up now.**

**Me- Because she's a girl so she won't piss me off. Now run along. Pancakes are burning *he runs away* Ally- Bye!**


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